Your Wife Doesn't Show Affection Anymore – Compassionate Advice for Husbands

Your wife doesn't show affection anymore. Perhaps for a time now it's been that way. Maybe you attributed it to the passage of time or the fact that you two are just so busy with everything you need to tend to. At the end of the day however, something has dramatically changed. She's no longer the one who reaches for your hand or offers a neck rub when you've had a hard day. You're the one who always seeks out a kiss or initiates intimacy. It's a hard situation for any man to live in. Trying to picture the rest of your life this way is overwhelming. Obviously you need to change things now or your marriage is going to continue to be a source of dissatisfaction for you.

Trying to guess why your wife doesn't show affection anymore isn't going to help you in the least. You have to talk to her about what she's feeling but this has to be done in a very specific way. Approaching your wife by accusing her of withholding affection will only result in her becoming more distant with you. She'll feel attacked by your tone and she'll probably shut down and you won't accomplish anything at all. You have to be compassionate and understanding and listen with an open heart to her telling you about what she's feeling. As much as you may be dreading that she'll tell you she no longer loves you that may not be the case at all.


Any type of emotional disconnect can make a woman less affectionate towards her husband. If you two had a huge argument she may be holding onto that and it could be causing her to subconsciously feel distant from you which in turn is coming through as her withholding affection. Another scenario may be that you two have just become so busy that you aren't spending enough time together just being husband and wife. If you just pass each other in the hallway once or twice a day with a quick hello and your discussions tend to center on the children, she may feel less affectionate because you two are living more like roommates than life partners and lovers.

In most marriages there is a silent sense of give and take. If one partner gives more, the other will follow suit and do the same. That's why you should be taking the lead and giving your wife more affection beginning today. If you make an effort to show even small signs of affection she'll pick up on that and it will influence her behavior too. Be the one who holds her hand or rubs her shoulders after a difficult day. She'll feel closer to you if you do and in turn she'll feel compelled to be more affectionate too.

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Gillian Reynolds

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